I Did Not Think This Through
by Stella Poitier
Summary: No matter how terrifying Terminus and Gareth are, the pull toward this new stranger is intoxicating...


I knew they were in there, I had seen them marched in at gunpoint. I fucking hate Terminus. When I came here I was like everyone else looking for a safe place, and for a blissful two days, it was.

People vanish, yet there is always food, water, new clothing and plenty of weapons. I think in the beginning I wanted to pretend these things were organically collected or somehow shipped in from men in the field, but I quickly realized this place was wrong and I was going to have to manipulate the higher powers if I wanted to stay put. I have seen how the men look at me, wondering how long they should woo me before inviting me for an intimate moment in their bed. I figure I'll hold on to that for as long as I can, stretch it out and make them really want me, crave me, so I can secure my safety. Whatever that means anymore.

Then THEY arrived, and we all knew they were different. It made us nervous. Well, made Gareth nervous. I was intrigued. I found myself, for the brief moment before the gunfire began, staring at one of them. I felt like I knew him, like we had met before, but I couldn't place it. Jesus, he was gorgeous. Sexy, strong, and obviously in control. I wanted him to dominate me - take me away from these psychos and run deep into the forest with me. I hadn't had thoughts like these in as long as I could remember, was I still capable?

Once they were locked up I played my part and worked my hardest to calm everyone down, we all did. Fear makes people irrational, and this puts us all at risk. This is where a woman's charm comes in handy - the only thing as intoxicating as hate is sex.

Gareth mentioned had a bottle of wine stashed away for a "special evening" and I was happy to indulge. The taste of wine on my lips was heavenly, I closed my eyes to enjoy each sip. When I opened them again, Gareth was smiling at me so sweetly. I hate what this world has done to people - I bet if we had met in a bar or coffee shop a couple years ago we would have totally hit it off, fallen in love even. He's lovely, but his smile is injected with so much pain and hatred I can't imagine getting too close to him. I don't trust that he is who he thinks he is, his tender fragility is lost on me. I simply don't buy it.

After the bottle is drained, I feel a little tipsy and stand to leave. Gareth catches me when I stumble a bit and invites me to stay the night. As I look into his empty eyes I can't even fathom letting this monster touch me intimately. I'll keep up the ruse, but full commitment will never come willingly.

"Good night," I whisper with a flirty smile as he considers kissing me.

"Are you sure..." he trails off, pulling me in close. The plea is a little sad and lonely, but still not enough for me to entertain.

"Can't. I'm not ready." I sweetly reply.

"Ok." He sounds so sad. So lost. When he pulls me in for a tight hug I can't resist squeezing him, if nothing else it'll give him hope. I need more time.

Wait, whats this poking me in the hip? Keys, dangling from his pocket, about to fall out. I run my hands over his hips in a slightly aggressive and sexy way so the keys slip into my palm, and hide in my skirt pocket. Gareth pulls back and looks deep into my eyes like he's going to kiss me, so I turn my head and peck him on the cheek near the corner of his mouth.

"See you tomorrow." I take a step back, still holding one of his hands.

"Look at what you have done to me, how will I ever sleep?" he toys, gesturing toward the enormous erection in his jeans.

"I'm sure you'll figure something out," I toss back. I realize it's cruel to leave a man in this state, but they have ways of taking care of themselves. Putting themselves first seems to be a theme that works for them these days.

I walk between the buildings in the dark, half heading back to my bed, and half wondering if these keys will do what I hope they will. I have no idea how heavily guarded they are, but decide I'll risk it as I unbutton my top a little extra, just in case.

The night is quiet, the moon creating a gorgeous beam on the side of the train car. I sneak around the side and run behind the car in the dark, hoping there is a door on the back side.

This could be it. I could get everyone killed, including myself. They wouldn't be kind to me - I have seen Gareth torture and he would be brutal and unrestrained with me. It would be personal, and it would be ugly. I couldn't think about it - I had to know. I had to see him and know if he was, indeed, worth risking everything for. My body told me yes, the keys falling into my hand told me yes, the moonlight between me and the snipers whispered "yes."

The key turned, the tiny door within a door opened and I peeked in. There he was, prepared to pounce. I'm sure he heard me fiddling with the keys and was pumped full of adrenaline, ready to snap me quickly and quietly if needed.

I instantly placed a finger to my lips and held up the other hand, telling him to freeze. He was understandably alarmed, and obviously on guard, as everyone else seemed to be sleeping.

We sat frozen in time for quite awhile, evaluating each other, wondering who would move first.

"I'm coming in," I whispered, "alone." I tried to comfort him by speaking slowly and continually showing him my gun free hands.

Once I was inside I looked around, and it was bleak. Everyone was piled on top of each other in the far corner, trying to protect one another while they slept. It was sweet and sad and horrific all at once. A pile of defenseless puppies unconsciously comforting each other. I looked back to him, tense, fearful, and I could almost see the sparks in his brain trying to figure me out.

"I stole the keys and wanted to check on you," I told him. This was not what I wanted to say, nor was it what he wanted to hear.

"What the fuck is this place and why are we locked in here? Are they going to kill us? Eat us? Are you one of them? Why are you HERE?" The questions came fast and furious, although barely audible through his desperate lips. I couldn't answer him. I didn't know. I honestly didn't.

"Look, all I know is that this place isn't what it should be. I'm only lucky in that I haven't been locked up yet, but I'm just as in the dark as you are." I paused. "I had to check on you because I feel like, uh, I feel..." I stuttered and gave up. This was insane. We are in an old train car smelling of death and horror and people's lives are at stake and I am yammering like a high school girl trying to ask the quarterback to prom. It's finally happened - I am officially insane. Fucking zombies.

His head tilted to the side like a confused puppy and squinted a little. His boots we silent as he slowly came a bit closer, as if to gain a better perspective of my impending mental break down.

"Do you have a plan?" he sounded less afraid, more curious.

"No. I didn't know I was going to do this until I did it. The keys literally fell into the palm of my hand and I made a very rash, very dangerous, very stupid decision to come see you."

"See me?"

"Yes, you."

"Do we know each other?"

"No, but there is something about you..." I was embarrassed hearing myself. Surrounded by zombies and psychotic cannibals and I'm hitting on a stranger. It would be funny if funny existed anymore.

Suddenly he was directly in front of me and my back was pressed against the wall. He had a hand on each side of my head and he looked desperate and a little vicious.

"Look, I don't know what is going here, but fucking with a man trapped in a cage and on the verge of snapping is probably not the best idea."

Jesus he's sexy. It's wrong and I'm nuts, but having him this close to me, his breath on my face is delicious.

"What's your name?" I ask, staring into his gorgeous blue eyes. This throws him off a little.

"Rick. Does it matter?"

"No."

Silence. Tense, unexplainable silence.

His eyes are burning a hole through my head and making my inner thighs quiver at the same time. When Gareth was this close, trying to see inside me, I felt nauseous. This is different. My body responds to his scent, and the only thing keeping me from kissing him is the genuine fear that he may kill me with his bare hands.

All at once both our minds shut off and I am tasting his lips. The residual wine lingered on my tongue and the combination is intoxicating. His hands are gripping my hips, and I am unbuttoning his shirt and devouring his chest with my hands. I feel like an animal and wish intensely that I did not have to be silent. I want to moan as he runs his hand up my inner thigh, beneath my skirt, and touches me gently through my panties. I pull my lips from his and inhale deeply, but he immediately silences me again with his mouth, diving deep inside me with his tongue.

As his fingers find their way beneath the fabric, I fight hard not to come for fear I will wake the entire camp. That would not be good. Holy shit, could you imagine them finding us like this? I would pray for a herd of zombies to take me before Gareth could lay one single finger on me.

This belt of his must come off, and it must come off now. I tug at it with my hands shaking in anticipation, and finally loosen it. I unbutton his jeans and slip my hand into his pants, and down between his legs. I always love the way a man's body tenses when you reach between their legs and cup their balls. For the first time his lips drift from mine and he gasps - now is my chance to save him from risking our silence.

When I touch him I can tell he is right on edge of release, so hard I think he may actually pop like a balloon. I push his head into my neck where he can dig his teeth in while I whisper in his ear "sshhhhhhh..."

I slowly turn around and lift the back of my skirt just high enough that when he leans forward he slips inside me easily. I turn my head to the left and sink my teeth into his forearm so I don't moan. He is kissing, biting, sucking on the back of my neck and shoulder while he moves in and out of my shivering body slowly. I feel a drop of sweat escape from his brow and trace its way down my collarbone and between my breasts. I reach back and grab his hips, digging my nails into his flesh as I pull him into me. I can't help it, I need him to pound hard, fast, I can't take it...

When we come he presses me hard and flat against the wall of the train car, I can taste the metal and dust in the air hovering near my open mouth. We are panting, holding each other in a frozen lockdown so neither of can make a peep. We listen, silence.

He pulls out and turns me to face him, kissing me gently with his sexy man hands caressing my face.

"I never got your name," he whispers into my ear as he nuzzles and nibbles the sweat from my lobes.

"Does it matter?" I teased back.

"No," he said. "but I think Daryl may be wondering."

I peeked sideways over his shoulder and saw an alarmingly perplexed man staring back at me.

Shit, I definitely did not think this through...


End file.
